In solidarity with German satirist Jan Böhmermann, I was inspired to pen the following ditty. I’d like to dedicate it to megalomaniacs everywhere…
Turkey Stuffing Song
There was a presidente
who ruled in Ankara.
He sought to reign in E–U–land
like the Ottomans of yore.
Though first he had to liberalise;
human rights to ensure.
But he was old school Islamist
and preferred Sharia law.
And he had no sense of humour.
All his critics he’d intern.
Behind his sham-democracy
was a true draconian.
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
will sue for personal slur.
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
What an Erdo–wanker.
Some fancy him a zoophile;
those tethered goats to grab.
But he’d rather ‘skewer’ Libertas
just like a shish kebab.
His true fetish is sniffing arse
whilst he pretends to pray.
How he yearns to slip ‘em tongue
like an anus crudité.
His arse-pelt full of clagnuts;
a bum crack foul and tufty,
which crony judges brownnose
(he thought himself grand mufti).
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
will sue for personal slur.
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
What an Erdo–wanker.
For Turks once proud and secular,
where the dreams of Atatürk?
Forsaken by this treasonous cur
and theocratic jerk…
Who built his palace of Ak Suray;
befitting a sultan or a king.
What a narcissist extraordinaire
with his crud-encrusted ring.
Buying up that Daesh oil.
Raining bombs on Kurds.
He hopes to wipe them off the map
yet he couldn’t wipe off turds.
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
will sue for personal slur.
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
What an Erdo–wanker.
All his soporific speeches
are a crock of Istanbul.
Though acclaimed by Euro-mandarins
and the Chancellor Merkel...
They throw our Euros at him
to aid the migrants' plight.
Yet the cause of this mass exodus:
his giblets reek of shite.
For all free speech to prosper
Europe should be tough.
Tell AKP to (Sala)fist themselves;
their turkey to get stuffed.
[chorus…]
© Ed Black
who ruled in Ankara.
He sought to reign in E–U–land
like the Ottomans of yore.
Though first he had to liberalise;
human rights to ensure.
But he was old school Islamist
and preferred Sharia law.
And he had no sense of humour.
All his critics he’d intern.
Behind his sham-democracy
was a true draconian.
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
will sue for personal slur.
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
What an Erdo–wanker.
Some fancy him a zoophile;
those tethered goats to grab.
But he’d rather ‘skewer’ Libertas
just like a shish kebab.
His true fetish is sniffing arse
whilst he pretends to pray.
How he yearns to slip ‘em tongue
like an anus crudité.
His arse-pelt full of clagnuts;
a bum crack foul and tufty,
which crony judges brownnose
(he thought himself grand mufti).
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
will sue for personal slur.
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
What an Erdo–wanker.
For Turks once proud and secular,
where the dreams of Atatürk?
Forsaken by this treasonous cur
and theocratic jerk…
Who built his palace of Ak Suray;
befitting a sultan or a king.
What a narcissist extraordinaire
with his crud-encrusted ring.
Buying up that Daesh oil.
Raining bombs on Kurds.
He hopes to wipe them off the map
yet he couldn’t wipe off turds.
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
will sue for personal slur.
Erdoğan, Erdoğan,
What an Erdo–wanker.
All his soporific speeches
are a crock of Istanbul.
Though acclaimed by Euro-mandarins
and the Chancellor Merkel...
They throw our Euros at him
to aid the migrants' plight.
Yet the cause of this mass exodus:
his giblets reek of shite.
For all free speech to prosper
Europe should be tough.
Tell AKP to (Sala)fist themselves;
their turkey to get stuffed.
[chorus…]
© Ed Black
